Olympic Fever Tips

      So as you probably know the summer olympics are currently going on....and if you didn't know, do you live under a rock under another rock at the bottom of the ocean in a crack in the crust of the earth?? If you actually happen to, how do you even get internet down there?? Anyways so i've always loved the olympics even though i never actually watch sports the rest of the time but once every four years i turn my tv to those unfamiliar sports channels, grab a tub of ice cream, get comfortable on the couch and sit for hours upon hours watching people wear skimpy barely there "outfits" and either win a medal or get their dreams crushed!! :) Sounds fun right?? Well i definitely think so!! I love cheering on all the countries that no one has ever heard of and hope some big crazy freak accident happens where China or the US of A don't sweep the podium and get beaten. Hasn't happened yet but if that ever happens i'd be worried about the fate of the world... The olympics are a great way to practice your time management skills and your channel changing skills. I mean the only way they can fit like 100 events into 15 days is by having 5 events going on at the same time!! So being the overachiever and amazing multi-tasker i am, of course i want to watch every single round of every single event!! and that requires a lot of planning. So if you want to be an olympic champion of olympic watching, i the master i am will give you all the tips you need to survive through these hard times.

1. Make sure you take advantage of every available second
You never want to miss a second of the games so whenever there's one of those rare commercial breaks use it to its fullest and take care of any business you have. If that means using the loo, feeding your cat whom you haven't fed since the last commercial break which was around 3 days ago, or calling your boss to tell them you'll be "sick" for the next 8 days then DO IT!! I mean you don't want to waste any precious seconds of the events to do these unimportant things!! So whenever you get a free second don't waste it!!

2. Have all available electronics that have connection to the internet with you
1 tv is not enough to watch this amazingness that comes along every 4 years!! You also need a desktop computer, all available laptops, your phone (cause who has a phone that can't go the internet these days??), your iPod, iBook, iPad, iSquare....anything that has connection to the world wide web, and all your neighbours' electronics!! That way you can watch every single event thats on at the time!! It's the only way!!

3. Get more electronics if you don't own one of those things mentioned above^
We live in the 20th century!! How dare you not own more electronics?? Go out and buy some more electronics in one of those rare commercial breaks. It's your fault for not getting prepared before hand!! Yes even the iSquare!! I'm sure that exists somewhere!!

4. Don't waste any time
Who needs to eat or sleep or perform any healthy bodily functions?? You have time to do that when the olympics aren't going on!! The only exception to this rule is to read this blog of course!! :)

5. Make sure you're comfortable 
You'll be here a while!! Make sure you have enough pillows, blankets, a fan if it gets too hot, water to stay...alive, and maybe a change of clothes cause it's good to occasionally change what you're wearing

6. Have all your country's stuff
This means flags, jerseys, jewellery, shoes, coins, stamps....Anything with your country's name or logo on it!! ANYTHING

I would write some more tips but this commercial break is ending!! Hope your olympic fever will be satisfied by the end of these olympics and you feel even more patriotic after it!! Don't cry too much if things don't go your country's way!! Don't worry a little dash of sparkles will dry those right up!! Hope these tips have helped :) I'm running out of time to eat .... Oh man, the room is spinnnniiigggggkj,zcjkv,

Risks

Risks are one of those things that you never really wanna take but you just have to force yourself into taking. Inside there's always this annoying voice telling you what could go wrong or why you shouldn't do it. But then there is also the quieter voice telling you to do something stupid and risky for a change. You normally only have a split second to decide which voice you're gonna listen to. Sure it'd be a lot safer to just listen to that nagging voice that sounds kinda like your mom's but where's the fun it that?? If you always follow the rules and always play it safe you'll never have one of those adventures you'll remember forever and will rant to your grand kids about! You'll never get to be one of those grandparents that go on and on about the good ole days!! Sure your grand kids won't actually listen and really rather be doing anything else, but hey at least you're having a good time telling them the story!! So do yourself a favor! Go take a risk today!! Maybe it's something as simple as talking to some smokin stranger that's in the elevator with you! Or something as crazy as going bungee jumping or sneaking out at night! Things may not turn out as you thought they would. Your smokin elevator buddy might have some serious mommy issues or you might get totally busted by your parents and never see daylight again but it's just another memory to add to your (metaphorical) scrapbook!! So go out there and jump off a cliff!! (with a bungee cord on of course) Go do something crazy!! As someone wayyy wiser than me once said, You regret the things you don't do the most, not the things you have done!! And hey if you get locked in your room forever at least sneak some sparkles in with you! After all a little dash of sparkle will always help brighten your prison sentence!! :) <3

Serious case of un-Combackulosus

     You know in tv shows how there's always that one witty person who comes up with really good comebacks? The kind of comebacks that everyone just goes "oooo" or "ohhh snapp!" and of course there's always the occasional "oh no she/he didn't *snap snap snap*". Ya well in real life that's.....not me. In real life I just stand there stunned like a wimpy deer who has legs of jello that happened to be caught in the headlights of a bunch of cars illegally drag racing! Ya i'm that unlucky! My brain races through a million different options but i just end up saying really dumb things that were stolen from a 4th grader like "i know what you are what am i??" or.... aww man i can't even come up with a bad example of a comeback right now!! Ya i'm pathetic and childish! Don't judge me!! In my defense not all of us have a team of over worked script writers at our beck and call that can come up with great one liners for us when we're in trouble! Some of us actually have to be creative and think of our own! Or at least take the time to go and steal them from tv shows or 4th garders! And then there are always the naturally gifted dissers who have brains of lightning speed! That can't be fazed by how gigantic and terrifying their enemy is! That have a list the size of the webster's dictionary of good comebacks just stored up! You know what i have to say to those lucky ducks?? Stop hogging all the talent!! Share it with the charity cases like me! I mean i'm not asking for much! Maybe just pop a few witty and clever comebacks in my head once in a while! That you can manage right? So if you happen to be one of "the gifted" and one day you just happen to stumble upon a stuttering, mumbling, sweaty-palmed person with a serious case of un-Combackulosus then just give them a hand! Go and stand up for them! If you happen to stumble onto me, you'll know cause i'll be hyperventilating and as red as a tomato, then you should also call an ambulance cause i'm about to pass out any second now! Oh and if you happen to know any starving writers that have good come-backs up their sleeves tell them to call me.....maybe?? LOL yup i crack myself up! Oh man i'm a total loser....eh at least i'm a sparkly loser that suffers from un-Combackulosus!! For all the others who suffer with this disease here's a little dash of sparkles!! It won't cure you, but you'll be sparkly :) <3

Dancing Dirtily...

      So I just wasted a few hours watching 2 of my favourite movies!! Okayy wasted is definitely not the right word i'd use to describe the situation! It was definitely put to good use!! I mean watching Patrick Swayze aka Jawwny (typing it like how they pronounce it in the movie) move his hips in impossible ways?? Nothing i'd rather be doing!! Sure he's like 50 now but he was one hot piece of (you know what) back in the day!! I have to confess I have no clue what the plot of the movie was. One minute some goody goody turns bad and starts dancing in ways her parents would definitely have her locked up for and the next some girl is getting an abortion?? I don't really remember all of it but i do for some odd reason remember every part Jawwny was in...weird right? Baby Frances or what ever her real name is, was just a piece of furniture. Maybe it's cause i'm jealous that she got to be with him, no that's not it! But i'm surprised it took her parents that long to find out about their secret relationship!! I mean honestly you're daughter never comes home at night, what and i'll even go as far as who do you think she's doing?? She's obviously not camping out in the backyard roasting marshmallows with her friends, having pillow fights! Sure this was movie was based on the 60's but even back then people weren't that dense!! Or maybe they were... hey they did think that getting an abortion on some folding table from a doctor who probably hasn't even heard of college was a good idea!! And people say the kids of our generation are going nowhere!! Nonsense! There's only so much angry ranting, high wasted tuxedo pants, and this body rubbing thing they call dancing i can take though!! I mean even just thinking back i'm a little shaken up by some of these people's fashion choices!! The flashback of Jawwny's face is helping me forget about the previous images though!
        OK now onto the other movie about dancing dirtily wayy down south!! I definitely liked this movie better! Some may disagree but let's just agree to disagree and admit that i'm right about this one! The music made me want to dance! And even though i didn't have a clue what any of the lyrics were saying since they were in cuban. I still had to let myself like it! Oh except for the one shakira song! I knew that she was telling me her hips weren't liars!! I definitely liked Havier (Javier?) and his cute accent but i pretty much like anything with an accent so it didn't take much to convince me. The Katie girl wasn't that bad either. That was a raving review in my world. I will say that her outfits were much better. The dresses were just adorable and i would definitely wear them...well not the ones that looked like they needed to be washed off of her. I guess that comes with the whole dirty dancing territory though! You might find "professional" reviews out there about how bad this movie was and how cheesy it was but i like my cheese!! The cheesier the better!! After all, all you need is cheese!! And why waste you're time writing a good script and doing other time consuming things like that when you can just add cheese??  So If you like dancing in the day or in the night. If you like badboy bikers or spicy cubans. If you don't even like dancing at all, you should still definitely watch these movies! They are classics after all! Give them a chance! You might end up loving them and forcing everyone you know to watch them. You might even end up hating them and wishing you could get those hours of your life you just wasted back. No matter how you feel you can come and tell me all about it!! Just so you know i can't do anything about those lost hours... No refunds, exchanges, do-overs or take-backs! No worries nothing a little dash of sparkles can't fix :) <3

Summer school has begun...

         Today was the first day of summer school. Or as i like to call it; the first day of not sleeping in till 12, the first day of officially having to learn again, and the first day where i actually have to put some effort into the way i look.Goodbye laying on my couch all day in my pjs, hello sitting in a classroom for 6 straight hours trying not to run out of there screaming "see ya suckers!!" I guess on first day standards it wasn't bad. I mean any class where we spend the whole afternoon playing games involving conquering the world, i'm in!! But it is only the first day! I mean the first day is always easy no matter if it's boring old regular school or summer school. If you're in some suburban neighborhood in Canada or some fancy shmancy private school across the world in Switzerland. The first day is all about not scaring the kids, playing torturous icebreaker games that nobody likes and remembering how to write again. (I mean let's all be serious, we haven't touch one of those things they call "pens" in 2 whole months! We barely remember how to hold them!!) Judgement day is definitely the second day. This is when the teachers realize you're here to stay for good (even if it is against your own free will). And they better start teaching you something if they want to get their paycheck at the end of the month. Just when you thought that the course might actually be a total joke and that you'd be able to pass without moving a finger, they come and slap you in the face with a big fat dose of reality. A pile of handouts, a few back breaking textbooks, and a list of textbook questions that are longer then your Christmas list that you're expected to have done by....now. It finally sets in that you might actually have to do something called "work" and put in a little thing called "effort" if you don't want to fail miserably and be branded a no-good delinquent that will get nowhere in life and end up living in a cardboard box by you're local coffee shop. Ya that's right, that's what will happen if you didn't have all those assigned questions done 5 minutes ago. That reminds me...i better get started on all my homework if i don't want to end up trying to decorate my box with some cardboard decor! Let's hope you don't see me one day at the Starbucks down the street from you're house! Well i guess if i end up living in a box it'll be a cute box! Nothing a little dash of sparkles can't fix!! :) <3